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Forgiving yourself after a screwup, especially one that has negative consequences, can be a huge emotional challenge. It probably won't happen overnight. But through the years, I've found a few things to say to myself that actually help me get past the worst of the guilt and shame.

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Next time you're beating yourself up because of a miscalculation or gaffe, try reminding yourself of the following:. What was the thought process that led to your big mistake? Chances are you misunderstood the circumstances, miscommunicated with someone, or dropped the ball out of inattentiveness or competing priorities.

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If you intentionally took a risk and it didn't work out, that doesn't qualify as a screwup. That's just the nature of risk-taking which is necessary for every entrepreneur. You didn't set out to create a calamity, you did it by accident. And you have to forgive yourself for that accident because it doesn't mean you're a bad person, just a mistaken one. Most of us are harder on ourselves than we are on others, so it's a lot easier to forgive someone else for a great big screwup than it is to forgive ourselves. So try to imagine what your reaction would be if your employee, co-founder, friend, or partner had done what you did.

How long would you stay angry? Would you be angry at all, or would you understand? If you would readily forgive another person for the same mistake you made, why are you having a hard time forgiving yourself? Don't you deserve the same as everyone else?

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Sometimes we think of ourselves as spoiled children--if we treat ourselves with love and compassion, then we'll stop making the effort to achieve and be successful. I've fallen into that thought process many times myself, but it's wrong.


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Treat yourself with love, and you'll be more successful, not less. If that isn't true, then stop reading this column immediately and go finish doing what you can to mitigate your mistake without putting yourself, your company, or anyone else at unnecessary risk. Doing whatever you can to repair the harm you've done as quickly as you can is an important step in getting past a mistake. Once you've done what you can, whatever that is, then it's time to declare the mistake officially over, even if you'll have to continue dealing with the consequences for a while.

Time to look to the next thing. This is the first thing I say to myself when I realize that I've screwed up, and it always makes me feel better. Because-- of course-- whatever I did wrong won't be the worst mistake I ever make. Probably not even in the top ten. I host a free weekly personal development newsletter. Not a member yet? Socrates, considered as one of the founders of Western philosophy, was once named the wisest man on earth by the Oracle of Delphi. When Socrates heard that the oracle had made such a comment, he believed that the statement was wrong.

Here are 25 of those reminders that others taught me. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life. You kind of like someone and think: A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. Keep A Journal No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer.


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Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer. Pick an industry you love and start at the bottom. You will find the perfect role for you eventually.

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Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the people around you — be open to what they can teach you. Rest Before You Are Tired Even if you love your job, and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. We all have families, bills to pay, and our own issues.